Something Personal

July ran away on me and now its mid August. There you go, you now know how loose I am at keeping writing up on this blog. But needless to say, my mind never stops thinking and contemplating. Sometimes I have a million ideas on what to write about and some times I lack a single one. And usually the latter, occurs when I have a the time to sit down to write. But that’s life.

But enough on that, my family has had some special things to celebrate over these past few weeks. Some of which I want to share with you.

I became an uncle! My step-sister Katie, had her first and he is, from the photos I’ve seen online and the arrival card that arrived in the post, a healthy little boy. Welcome to the world Luca. My sister Emily, also had some exciting news. After a hard long four years of study at Cardiff University, she has now passed all her final exams and assessments and is now a Dietitian! I am so proud of her as she has gone to hell and back to make her dream happen. As have the family. Then my step-brother Jamie, is now on his way to be an English teacher to where ever the world may take him. He’s the kind of guy, when he sets his mind to do something, he sees it through. I cannot even recite the number of things he has done in his short life – but they are many. And they are not just in the UK but all through Europe.

For me, this year was going to be my new year of setting new life rhythms and focusing on wellness. That’s a personal thing to say, but this is what I set out to do at the beginning of the year. Somewhere a long the way however, things became a little blurred and I lost track of what I started to do at the beginning. However, the best way I’ve found to get back on track, is to just get back on your feet, re-focus and try again. Keeping rhythms simple yet challenging, is the art.

These rhythms are as simple as drinking herbal tea at night, to breathing exercises, to journalling, to healthy work-day patterns, to daily exercising, to visualisations, to Friday night drinks, to mindfulness, and to water intake and diet. All of which are just a slice of what I want to do to become a healthier, less angry, more balanced person. The amazing thing is, for each of these small changes and exercises, once they practised and fully part of daily life, can make a significant difference in coping and living. Its really interesting to me, that these small life things can improve life in vast ways.

I’ve battled with depression for a good portion of my life. No matter where I’ve lived, this thing has followed me. Its a darkness that seems to come and make its home for sometimes months at a time, and then leave again. At the end of last year, I went for some therapy. This therapy opened me up to some powerful changes and insights into the ways I sabotage myself and some of the lies I have believed my entire life. It was liberating.

Why am I saying all this? I’m saying it because we live short lives and to make the most of it, sometimes we need to make deliberate changes. I’m not saying this as some motivational bull shit piece that you can Google. I’m saying it because we all have stuff we are working through, and we could all become better at being present with ourselves, those we love, those around us as well as the strangers we meet each day.

3 thoughts on “Something Personal

  1. Hey Marcus,
    Stoked that you’re writing again, however regularly you can manage it. Your posts are always interesting and engaging. I didn’t know you were affected by depression. The way you describe it (as a darkness that follows you) seems eerily appropriate. Stereotypical as this may sound, I see depression and anxiety as the ‘first world”s form of starvation. It steals your mental and emotional nourishment, and its symptoms can be as complex and difficult to resolve as physical malnutrition. It’s taken the life of one beautiful person I knew, and has its claws in another.
    Really glad to hear you found some support through therapy, and setting healthy rhythms for your life. It can take real courage to seek out help when you’re feeling low. I hope you continue to seek out support, and prioritise the things that you need to nourish your life. I saw a therapist regularly for a couple of years, and I’m coming to recognise the internal signals that suggest I need another “tune up” (haha). Congratulations uncle, and congrats to your family 🙂


  2. Beautiful blog Marcus. You would have to be one of the strongest persons I know, dealing with you own personal battles and then committing your life to helping others. Pat yourself on the back my friend!


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