Happily Ever After

Some things we should know by now, right? Well turns out, this is not always how it works. This is because wisdom is not a cliché, slogan or hashtag. Rather it’s something that is almost like good music. It bypasses the noise and sits with you, and then makes a gear change in your mind. This past week I saw this simple quote that just made so much sense to me on an incredibly practical day to day level.

You can’t control your outcomes but you can control your actions.             Noah St John 

Anyone that knows me knows that I like to have it all in order. I love the detail, the process, and the end result. But this doesn’t always work. When we are talking about relationships and humanity: We don’t always live happily ever after. Life isn’t static. It flows and moves where it wishes. There are so many variables that will throw us off. Negativity or in other words, the realisation of the complexity of a given situation, in this approach of having all the boxes lined up for a perfect outcome, usually fails.

For me letting go of perfection and control of that end result has taken a long, long time master and I’m still not quite there. More often than not, I move between wanting to have control and taking a pause. What I’ve learnt though is that that pause, turns out, can be one of the best actions I can possibly take when confronted. It provides you with the breathing room and a mini reasoning space before walking into the room.

Listening is not necessarily agreeing. It’s just a whole lot more calmer and healthier way of dealing with something or someone. This also however is an art as we live in a competitive society and no matter what your spirituality, beliefs, understanding, or stance is, we can all fall into the game of announcing our own agenda over someone else’s in both subtle and loud speaker fashions. Sometimes, it’s just better to stand back and shut up. Sometimes you need to speak up for what matters. And then through this take time to pause, before offering your piece. Most critical to this posture is learning to listen to the truth.

In all responses however, the truth that will stand strong will be the that it is only your actions that you can control.

Rule your mind or it will rule you – Budha

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